by Jane

 

I guess I've been busted for adding a friend and Momma has called me on it.  I admit that I have been into Spaces to pick up some very nice, sweet messages from you all. 

 

I feel pretty bad about taking this month off, but I feel worse about all you people who are worrying about me.  Let me reassure you that I am fine.  I probably was not totally lucid when I wrote that last post.  I wanted to get it over with, and commit myself to this Space-freeze.  I realize that most of you think I should look at a different kind of commitment... one with a white jacket and soft walls, but I continue to escape detection.

 

Really, the one word that describes my life at this moment is overwhelmed.  I have tons to do before Alpha's graduation on top of the usual May madness.  Wish for me the patience, focus and organization to get it all done without... um... 'losing' some loved ones or co-workers.

 

I appreciate all your concern, but don't worry, I will be back.  For sure... and no doubt I will have lots to say.

I apologize for the little fit I pitched earlier today.  I now have a bit of wine and cheesecake under my belt and I have chewed on my discontent for long enough to know some things.  At least I think I know some things.

 

I know that I can't join my husband in some church fund-groveling project that he signed 'us' up for.  Two of the things I don't do well are church and asking for money.  I may have been more inclined to push my personal boundaries had I not already had too many things to do and had I been consulted.  I know that he will be pissed, but hopefully he will be smarter, too. 

 

I know that I probably caused the bumper 'incident' with my car.  Turns out it was driver-inflicted and I had an a-ha moment.  To make matters worse, I think I did it on my own cursed driveway.  The gutters are not your friend when you live on the side of a hill.  Thankfully, the estimate is only $130.

 

I know that it would not be a good idea to put a gun in my hands... Shupe!

 

 

I know that my life is too mucked up.  I need to do some serious work on it.  That means I need to discontinue some other things.  Like this place here.  Maybe not discontinue... maybe take a sabbatical.

 

Starting tomorrow, May 1st, I am banning myself from Spaces until further notice.  Hopefully not more than a month.  Yeah, I know what you're saying.  You don't think I can do it.  Sadly, I can and I have to.

 

I hope you all have a good May.  You can still email me, let me know what's happening.  Um, anything else?  Nope, guess that's it.  Take care you all.  Love ya, miss ya, wish me luck...........

 

 

I’m thinking about starting a new blog called ‘On the Verge of Widowhood’ or ‘ALMOST a Single Mother’.  What do you think?  It would probably have to be replaced eventually by ‘Jane on the Chain Gang’ or ‘Tales from the Pokey’ because that is the way my luck is rolling these days.  I won’t bore you with the details right now because I am still unable to laugh about the situation and I am not in the mood to cry.

 

In other good news:  my car is falling apart.  Remember the hit she took last year from the parking lot rager?  The 4-second backstory: guy in parking lot backs up to shake a finger at dude who almost hit him and succeeds at hitting me.  I don’t know if that is relevant but anycrap, yesterday I noticed a rattling coming from the front passenger side of my car.  After I picked up Omega, I asked her to listen as I drove through the parking lot.  She rolled down the window, looked out and pointed out that what she thought should be a small crack between two car pieces, was now a gaping chasm.  Translation:  front bumper falling off.  Upon closer examination at home, I noticed that the entire wheel well liner thingy is GONE!  And the bumper is, in fact, detached.  There doesn’t appear to be any damage to the bumper or any of the other remaining parts of the car.  Anyone out there know how something like this happens?  It is not old or rusty or American made on a Friday or Monday and I don’t believe I have run over anything.  WTH?

 

Is it not even possible to buy corded phones anymore?  I am so sick of not being able to find a phone at home.  People take them, use them and then leave them to die so that the locater beeper fails to function, the phone doesn’t ring and voice mails pile up. 

Some people just don’t ‘get’ the cell phone concept.  If I give you my cell phone number and I say ‘that’s the best way to reach me’ I mean ‘USE THAT NUMBER, RETARD!’

Ahem, sorry.  That was uncalled for.

 

The forecast for the next 4 days looks like a March flashback… again. 

 

Open enrollment for health bennies ends today so I need to decide whether to stay with our current coverage or go back to the old, cheaper plan, and I need to estimate how much money to put in my Flex account.  I socked away $1000 bucks last year thinking that I could surely squeeze out a pair of glasses with the leftovers… yeah, not.  With two months to go, I am fundless and blind, and that means I won’t get reimbursed for all the over-the-counter meds that I have purchased in the last 10 months.  Yes, I know, I should track this kind of stuff so I know for next year.  If you were my real friend, you would know that on this particular paragraph here I am just looking for pity, not advice.

 

It is looking like another weekend where I won’t make much progress on the Patty potty project.  She is gone again and the daughter’s crackhead boyfriend will be staying there to babysit the pitbulls – none of with which I want to deal.  She is under the same graduation deadline that I am, and yes, I know I could just say ‘screw it’ but that’s not the way I roll.  I committed to the project and I will do my best on it… IF I ever get the chance.

 

So… that’s most of my sad story, not including my bad hair day… and the fact that my pants, socks and shoes are 3 different colors of khaki.  I know!  You see how pitiful I have become? 

byJane 

 

 

I sat in a meeting today.

So much of nothing to say.

They all droned on

As I did yawn.

This job is not worth the pay.

 

Acronyms and jargon did fly.

Too many letters to try

To grasp all the crap

That they shoved in my lap.

Could somebody just tell my Y.?

 

My eyes they started to glaze.

My mind got lost in a haze.

I just wasn't able

To keep my head off the table

So they said 'Is that how she prays?'

 

'Yada, yada... yada some more.'

'Eighty, 6%, 3.4'

Stop talking you guys!

I'm beyond sounding wise,

Cuz my brain has slid to the floor!

 

I'm almost happy to be back to the office job today... almost.  I'm not going to say 'back to work' because that would make it sound like the rest of my life is just naps and needlepoint. 

 

Saturday was pretty swell.  I punished myself with a few hours of housework and then spent 3 or 4 hours with Alpha, shopping for a prom dress.  She must have tried on over 50 dresses at two malls.  The dress she finally picked out will surely stop a few hearts, especially when you add the updo and silver, high-heeled sandals.  We tried to talk her into lower heels, for comfort's sake, but she feels that a girl should take full advantage of having a boyfriend who is 6'4".  She makes a good arguement.  Yesterday, she practiced walking around the house in the sandals, looking all DaisyDuke in her short, shorts and 6 miles of leg. 

 

Saturday night I met Cindy and Angie for dinner and margaritas.  That was so fun, but next time I'm going to get a big girl marg, like they had... mine ran out much too soon.  Then I went home, watched most of the Jazz game and crraasshheddd!!!  Whoever says that shopping is relaxing?  They lied!

 

Sunday was the killer.  It was beautiful weather so I mowed the lawn and did a bunch of tidying around the yard.  Our house is on the side of a hill and there is a retaining wall on one side of the front yard.  It has always looked a bit screwy where it ties into the street, so I decided to see what I could do.  I thought it would be a matter of adding 2 blocks to the current configuration.  Haha!  Yeah, 12 blocks later, it's fixed.  That doesn't sound like a big deal unless you take into figuration that the 12 blocks had to be toted from the back yard and then laid at least 10 times each, because by now you know me well enough to know that they had to be level 6 ways and perfectly aligned front to back.  I am paying in my shoulder and butt muscles today. My fingers are raw from handling the blocks... yes, I do know I should have worn gloves but it was only going to be TWO blocks, remember?  And my back is killing me, not because of the lifting, but because of the 2" slice of skin that peeked out between my tank top and shorts... that place where I didn't think to put sunscreen.  And my feet are a bit angry because I recklessly dove into a full day of flip-flopping without properly breaking in my toe crotches.  But enough whining!  My body parts and I have been begging for spring to come and the weather to warm so we just need to buck up and take it like the woman we are... I am... whatev.

 

Never fear, though, the lovely weather is scheduled to end on Wednesday.  Maybe it's good that it doesn't come all at once... gives me time to lick my wounds and do a little needlepoint.  Ha... as if.  Does anyone even do needlepoint anymore?

---

"OMG, I'm having a hot flash... can you tell?"

"Uh uh."

"Really?  I mean, can't you feel that?"

"Nope"

"Not at all."